The wind beneath my wings.

Death never fascinated me. Never was I prepared for it. And that is one word that would always scare my heart.

Whenever I hear a story about death, I always get the feeling of extreme sadness. May it be death of a known personality, to a death of a neighbor, of an acquaintance or a friend, it always breaks my heart. I know how difficult it is to lose someone you love. And life will never ever be complete without them. Ever.

I lost significant people in my life. They made me the person and the mother that I am today. And my heart will forever be grateful to these people.

As the song goes, they are the 'wind beneath my wings'.

Lydia Mateo-Cruz

The best grandmother in the world.

Nanay Lydia has been my inspiration for her unconditional love for her family. She served as an inspiration to my parents because she is the best mother-in-law, as my father would always say. This is the reason why my parents have loved my husband as their own child, because they knew how good it is to be loved by your parents-in-law. I was lucky because she took care of me since I was born. We lived together up till she left for Canada. And since then, everything was never the same. She bridged the family together. And she will forever be my inspiration in being a good mother because nobody in this world can ever be as great as my Nanay Lydia.

Myra Ramiscal-Jacinto

My bestfriend.

Ate Myra have seen me grow since birth. She was the one who took the responsibility that Nanay Lydia had after she left for Canada. Being the only Aunt that I have, she was the only one who would go with me all the time. She took me to office Christmas parties, she was the one who would fetch me from school when nobody had the time to do so. She would take a dayoff from work just to be with me during field trips. She was the one who would take care of me when Mama was out of the country because of work. I never had the chance to tell her this, but she was like a second mother to me. She shared every joy with me, from childhood to graduating college to motherhood. Being single all her life, she treated me as a daughter, and she have always treated me as part of her life. Suddenly loosing her in my life was the hardest. I missed every single birthday that she was there to greet me and every single Christmas. I missed her jokes and laughing our hearts out together. I miss her so much.

Jose Buenaventura-Jacinto

The best Tatay in the world.

My youngest son was named after Tatay Peping, this is to show how much I loved him. Tatay is a man of few words. He will just religiously attend to the store, from early in the morning till late at night without any complains. He was a good example of a father who showed good judgment over his children.  He never nagged but when tolerance was enough, he would still stand up and show everyone that HE is still the father. He would run to a party upon finding out one of his son is drunk and causing trouble. He would stand up for you if you are doing the right thing. But on top of it all, I knew from my heart, I was his favorite granddaughter. He made me feel that he was proud of me, that I did a good job of being the good daughter that I am. I know he is at peace now. I know that he knew who among his children who loved him the most. And though distance made our relationship weak back then, I am confident that he knew I loved and will love him forever so much.

Manuel Coates-Navoa Sr.

My one and only father-in-law.

Both my kids were named after Papa Manny, not only because my husband was his Jr. but because he have a special place in our hearts. When my Papa met him the first time during 'pamamanhikan', I knew right away that we will be one family. I knew that my Papa and Papa Manny will have a bond, and this will bond our own family too. He is my husband's inspiration. He is the picture of a father who would never turn his back on his family. Through thick and thin, everything he did was for the family. I loved him more because of the love he gave my children. Never did he make us feel that he had a favorite. But instead, we all felt his equal and unconditional love for all of us. He made me feel that I am his child, not just his son's wife, but his own child. And I will never forget that. I had another family, who accepted and loved me equally the same as how my own parents did. We miss you Papa Manny. You are my father. And until forever, I am your child.

Writing this post made my heart cry, again. I just knew that I had to give a tribute to these people because they made me the better person that I am today. Before, I always think that the saying, "Ang mababait unang kinukuha ni Lord", was a joke. But in my own realization, indeed there is truth on that. I always remember the homily that Fr. Joseph Biliran shared during Ate Myra's wake. The Lord only prepares his house for his children, and when your room in his house is ready...he will ask you to come home and live with him. Though my heart is bleeding, knowing that they are already with the Lord, makes me feel glad. Wherever they are at the moment, there would be no more suffering and pain, no more hatred and tears. Never ending happiness and eternal life. My only prayer is for them to keep us safe and watch over us as we wait for our rooms in heaven to be prepared.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

To Nanay Lydia, Ate Myra, Tatay Peping and Papa Manny

Thank you. Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.